Connect the Dots.
Reveal the Big Picture.

Online therapy for adults looking to discover the best version of themselves in New York City and across New York State.


Let's Be Honest

You’ve tried handling them yourself, because that’s who you are – independent, resourceful, and always able to take care of yourself. But the spackle covering those cracks is breaking.

Who are you if not that ambitious, high-achieving characterization of success, living up to all the expectations set by your parents, friends, bosses, and middle school basketball coach? If you allow the wrong person to enter your life, they might just slow you down and thwart all your hard work.

Success in your relationships, at work, and in life in general has always been the goal. But it’s also been your way to distract yourself from what’s underneath.

Maybe those cracks are the result of you running full speed against a wall, again and again.

If you’re ready to find another way around the wall, let’s go.

Underneath that polished veneer, the cracks are starting to show.
Jacob Mergendoller is a New York City-based psychotherapist
Jacob Mergendoller is a New York City-based psychotherapist

I specialize in unraveling the complicated, calling out the excuses we tell ourselves, and helping people identify the barriers holding them back from living the life they really want to live. My goal is to help you develop the power to take a chance and make real change in your life.

What you likely already know is true: you are not alone. But if you need more than a safe and supportive environment, and you’re tired of wasting time trying to solve things on your own, I’m your person.

I’m Jacob, a psychotherapist obsessed with understanding the nuances of life’s mysteries. I explore alongside adults of all ages looking to connect the dots strewn throughout their life and reveal the big picture to better understand themselves and the world around them.

Just because you can push through alone, that doesn't mean you have to.

You're used to being able to handle what life throws at you. So it looks like you have everything sorted out – except on the inside, things are a mess. You’ve tried the latest self-care fads making the rounds on social media. Journaling. Meditation. Yoga. Coloring books. Sometimes these are helpful. Sometimes they just make you roll your eyes.

Therapy has always been an option, but it's usually you suggesting it to a friend. You might have thought to yourself, “they're really going through a crisis, they need therapy. They deserve it.”. But you? You’re so used to pushing through on your own, it’s become a point of pride.

If you know all this, you probably also know all the things you do to distract yourself from what’s really bothering you. Drinks. Dates. Working all the time. Constant positivity. You’ve gotten good at these – add them to the list of things you’re proud of. But there’s something empty about it all. That mess on the inside is still there and thriving. And if we're being honest, these excuses simply allow you to avoid the discomfort of acknowledging something deeper. Pain. Grief. Negative self-beliefs. Uncertainty.

You could probably continue pushing through on your own. But you don’t want to keep the status quo. You want growth, improvement, to find the best version of yourself. So let’s start there.

Tell me about that life you really want to live.

You're here because you know that


These are some of the challenges I typically help people through. Don't see something specific? Let's talk – we still might be a good fit.


Many people experience anxiety on some level. When it begins to interfere with daily living or you notice it pulling you further and further from the present moment, it's time to see if therapy can help.

Anxious woman in bed with her hands over her head.Anxious woman in bed with her hands over her head.

When a traumatic or distressing event happens to us, it can make us feel stuck in the past or create negative beliefs about ourselves. I offer specific kinds of therapy (including EMDR) to help you heal and move forward.

Going through a life transition can be overwhelming, paralyzing, and confusing. With the right coping strategies, tools, and mindset, we can better navigate the changes life throws our way.

Life transitions
Woman resting her head on a friend's shoulderWoman resting her head on a friend's shoulder
Grand Central Terminal in New York City at rush hourGrand Central Terminal in New York City at rush hour


Work stress

Work shouldn't be an everyday struggle. If you feel beat down, burnt out, or unmotivated at work, therapy can help you identify the things you'd like to change and accept the things you cannot.

Woman at work experiencing burnout and stressWoman at work experiencing burnout and stress
communication and boundaries

Communication is at the core of how we connect with others and build relationships. But it's not always easy. Therapy can help you more authentically express yourself and set healthy boundaries in all areas of your life.

While "men's issues" are certainly not limited to gender, boys and men often do not have a space to show vulnerability or the tools needed to effectively communicate. Therapy is a huge towards better understanding your emotions.

therapy for men
Scrabble tiles to illustrate therapy for communication and boundariesScrabble tiles to illustrate therapy for communication and boundaries
A young man in reflection, looking at neon lightA young man in reflection, looking at neon light

Find Your Answers

Therapy can be confusing. These answers may give you some clarity.

A Rubik's cube represents the many questions about starting therapy
A Rubik's cube represents the many questions about starting therapy


Where Do We Begin?

The first step is scheduling a consultation call to make sure we're the right fit. If we decide to move forward together, we’ll discuss the details like how often we'll meet, when, and payment. At the moment, all sessions are remote and held via a HIPAA-compliant telehealth platform. While I do offer a sliding scale, the majority of my practice takes advantage of out-of-network benefits.

let's start!